I wake up coughing with such style
though I am still considered downtrodden
by the incredulous malaise
that is Thursday night turning into Friday morning
I exhibit unbelievable charm spitting blood
all over the remnant carpets
this is where I’ll die
oh god I’ll be dead for so long
I’ll be a bunch of bones
then I’ll be a success
I’ll be the whole graveyard
then I’ll be myself

i deserve no rights

any rights that are given to me
will be promptly waived

whether or not i have the right to do so

you have no sympathy
for the radicalization of my short term residence
the windows are looked into by my own past
you say I should phone the police if that’s the case
well that is the case but public servants are often
mechanical and cheap perhaps more so
than your idols of no credibility
who escaped the noose only to be hung
on rearview mirrors while you cruise around
with artificial thoughts of your quote unquote genius
and imminent fame congratulations
on your psychotic ambitions I’m certain
they will wear bowties at all of your celebrations

in the backseat doing impressions
of how we’d perceive perfection
if that were something we were into
then in outer space with no gravity
and no worries ever
wondering if we really knew anybody
and finally back in the big city
where the tall and morose buildings made us think
of days when the cards were stacked so high
against everyone but us

the scam is that it’s just us
in the backseat of my car
with a new pack of smokes
and a chance of rain
having not yet evaluated
the tint of windows we look out of
and see no end

sometimes my landlady comes over with liquor
and we talk about the weather
the news report says it will be overcast
with intermittent hurricanes of falling apart again
it says I will die with everyone but you
she wonders how all the anger and violence
can never disgust me
while it continues to almost rain
I make her drinks strong beacause I’m not
she asks if I still hallucinate my mirror image
all over her wallpaper or whether I have any
inspirational quotes posted in my cubicle at work
yes I tell her and I go in early
to talk about the weather
I used to be different but everyone shouted in unison
the exception proves the rule

I’m having a hard time starting this one
I’ve been so anxious lately
I’ve made a habit of not apologizing
sometimes I don’t even speak
no doubt this is immature behavior on my part
I bought a new house and 
paid extra for the appliances:
the pillow talk recycler w/ built-in bad dream
dispenser
Satan’s heavy trenchcoat filled with weapons
George Washington wearing blackface
religous bracelets from Tijuana
if I could only use one word to sum up
this whole thing of existence
it would be “super”

here lies no one you knew
from a drowsy desert
crucified on femur and fibula
hung from a half moon
he wanted his epitaph to say
it will never be summer again

there’s a level of equality amongst all lost things:
years, socks in the laundry, little notes
you had meant to save but misplaced
or threw away purposely
but don’t remember now
I always believed in myself until two days ago
why do I get so nervous?
I was in the yellow leaves from a maple tree
in the front yard of a yellow house
I had signed my name over to you
now I have no name what will you call me?
what will my summer wardrobe include?
a rusted bathtub? butterscotch candies?
friends I haven’t known since the 90’s?
now the leaves on the trees have fallen
the trees themselves have fallen
I had an idea for a poem
but I couldn’t sufficiently describe the cicada’s song
or the embers of love burning
wherever things like that burn
so instead I’ve written this I hope you like it

an alternative I guess
to cicadas and embers
one thousand dollars spent strictly
on strippers and alcohol
and I am weary of compliments
from the working class
I wonder with the naked
what is the cost of days wasted blatantly
or avoiding the loyal?
is it true that joy almost always dissolves
like a defrosting windshield?